Newborn Wake Time

It has now been three weeks since the birth of my third child.  It has been quite the adjustment with three kids, all ages 3 and under.  The thing that worries me the most and what brings me the most stress with a newborn, is trying to get him into a routine/schedule (feed, wake, sleep).  For most newborns, one of the hardest things to achieve is to establish “wake time” after each feeding during the day.  On Becoming Babywise states, “Wakefulness is a goal to strive toward” (page 107).  I had to remind myself of this.  I was trying so hard to keep him awake to take a full feeding and then wake time after, that if I wasn’t successful, I felt like I failed him and he wouldn’t be able to sleep through the night or be healthy.  Goals take time.  Therefore, I shouldn’t expect to achieve this goal immediately.  It takes work, consistency, and time.  I need to not worry, but be flexible and do my best.  My son will live.  My son will eventually sleep through the night.

I suggest instead of focusing on getting your baby to have wake time after every feeding at first, to start with at least one good wake time a day, and then add a wake time every week.  I started with the first wake time of the day (since he was sleeping so long at night, I thought this would be the easiest one to keep him awake – and it was).  I also tried to start with at least 15-30 minutes and then tried to increase it to an hour or hour and 15 minutes of wake time before I put him down for a nap.  Giving your baby a bath is always a great way to make sure they have wake time.  I also change his diaper after I nurse.

On Becoming Babywise tells you to not worry about the first week (Weeks 2-8 is the routine schedule: Phase 1 Stabilization).  They tell you to start the routine at week two since it takes one week for life to settle in for both you and your baby.  So far, I have to actively be involved in his wake time in order for him to stay awake.  If I lay him down on an activity mat, the Boppy, or in his car seat, he will fall asleep.  So yes, it is a lot of work to keep him awake.  Eventually though, when your child is around 4-5 weeks old, you should be able to lay him in his activity mat and he will stay awake.  Your baby will be more alert and staying awake will be less effort.

At first, you won’t be having much time spent doing anything other than nursing and changing diapers since newborns can only stay awake for approximately 15-45 minutes if they do stay awake at all. Some babies are a little harder. The reason I was a little stressed with my third child, is because even a cold wash rag wouldn’t wake him to finish nursing the second side, let a lone having wake time after eating.  Once again, I was reminded in the book, that it is ok. You can slowly add wake time like I did with him.  It will all come.  It might take 6 or more weeks to get playtime really happening even a little.  So just relax, do what you can, and don’t stress.  Each week will get better and better as your newborn will get older and older.

My son’s schedule at 3 weeks:

*This is my goal for each day. Of course there are days he doesn’t stay awake the whole wake time.  Of course there are days where he cries himself to sleep and ends up not getting a full nap, but maybe only 30 minutes.  Does he always sleep 5 hrs. before I wake him up at night? No, sometimes he wakes up on his own at 4 1/2 hrs.  Most people will start their day with wake time after the 6:30am nursing.  I however don’t because he sleeps so well at night and sleeps until I wake him at 9:30am.  My other kids also sleep until 8-8:30am.  So I go back to bed. With my second child, he would have his fussy time (my third child does as well at times) after the 9:00 feeding.  Therefore, I would cluster feed with only two hours apart and then he would go right to sleep for the night.  So I would nurse at 9:00 and again at 11:00pm and then put right to bed.  I nurse 7 times a day since he sleeps so well at night.  Before the longer stretches at night (weeks 1-2), I would nurse 8 times a day.  Flexibility is key, especially with newborns!

9:30-10am – Nurse

10-11 – Wake time

11-12:30 – Nap

12:30-1 – Nurse

1-2 – Wake time

2-3:30 – Nap

3:30-4 – Nurse

4-5 – Wake time

5-6:30 – Nap

6:30-7 – Nurse

7-8 – Wake time

8-9:00 – Nap

9:00-9:30 – Nurse & put right to sleep

9:30pm-2:00am – Sleep

2-2:30 – Nurse & put right to sleep

2:30-6:30 – Sleep

6:30-7 – Nurse & put right to sleep

7-9:30am – Sleep

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Learning Time

When I have learning time with my kids each day, I love to use books.  When I was teaching third grade, I always went to the library before I started a unit and checked out as many books that I could find to help introduce or emphasize what I was teaching.  I used books that helped the kids learn how to visualize, to learn adjectives, or about the moon, etc.  I do the same thing with my own kids now even though my oldest is not quite 3 1/2 yet and my youngest will be 2 in a couple of weeks.  For example, right now I am teaching my 2 yr. old his colors.  I found all the books that I have that have to do with teaching colors and then I read those books over and over to him.  I start out reading them to him and then I have him try to tell me the colors, correcting him when needed.  I also leave the books out in a book bin or in a pile where the kids will most likely choose those books to read when they want to read books by themselves. I use every opportunity to ask him what the color of something is.  Sometimes when he wants dessert, I tell him he has to tell me the color of ____ first, etc. I have done this also with shapes, numbers (for number recognition and counting), as well as for letters (letter recognition and letter sounds). I have done this also with bible stories and to teach my kids about Jesus and God.  Of course I do other things too with learning time, such as teaching my daughter to write, but my favorite thing to do is use books for learning opportunities.  This will also hopefully instill the love of reading in my children!

24 Months: Sample Schedule

Wow, it is hard to believe that in a couple of weeks I will have a 2 year old!  The biggest changes you will have by the time your child is 2 are: a big bed or toddler bed instead of a crib, a booster seat instead of a high chair, 2% milk instead of whole milk, and for my kids – chewable Flintstones vitamins instead of a liquid vitamin.  Some kids may be potty trained by the age of 2.  My daughter was by 19 months, but my son has only started to tell me when he is going, just went, or has to go.  He still has a long way to go and I am in no hurry since he is a boy.  The comprehension and talking just amazes me as well.  Jackson can count to 15 now on his own, identifies the colors: green, orange, blue, and red correctly, and can tell me the shape of a triangle and diamond.  He talks clearly about 85-90% of the time and uses 4-5 word sentences.  He is getting to be such a big boy!

Eating
Here are some changes that take place in the eating arena around the time your child turns 2:

• Your child will mostly eat exactly what the family eats and at the same time as when the family eats.
• Your child will not only drink milk from a sippy cup, but also try milk from a big cup once in a while.
• Your child will be using a booster seat instead of a high chair.
• Your child should be able to feed herself with a spoon and a fork. Make sure to give them the opportunity to practice.  The sooner and more often they use the fork and spoon on their own, the better they will be at a younger age, making it nice for you!

Napping

• One afternoon nap a day usually lasting anywhere from 2-4 hours (I think 2 hours is the most common).

Other Stuff

• I am consistent with encouraging Jack to use his words and not to whine when he wants something.  I want him to tell me what he wants instead of pointing, etc.
• We continue to include Jack in prayer time before meals and modeling folding our hands, bowing our heads, and closing our eyes when we pray.  He continues to fold his hands when we say the word pray and model it for him. He started to close his eyes and bow his head for short periods of time as well. He will also repeat what we say if we tell him to pray.

*Note the times are approximate.

Between 8-8:30 until 9:00am wake up, cuddle time with the family in bed, and get dressed.

9:00-9:30am breakfast (milk in sippy cups, fruit – usually a banana, and cereal in a bowl with milk and a spoon – I also like to make pancakes, muffins, and eggs.)

9:30-11:00am wake time (sibling play time, free play time, & structured play time)

11:00-11:30am wake time (Independent play time for my 2yr. old/Jack.  Learning time for my 3 yr. old/Ella.  I am currently working on writing letters with her.)

11:30-12:00pm wake time (Learning time for my 2yr. old/Jack. I use books to help him learn his colors, shapes, numbers, and letters.  Independent play time for my 3 yr. old/Ella.  Usually she has her indep. time in her room and sometimes in the living room.)

12:00-12:45pm lunch (I feed Jack and Ella the same thing or what we are eating.  I make sure to give the kids a healthy balanced meal.)

12:45-1:15pm wake time (The kids watch Barney while I clean up the kitchen and dishes from lunch.)

1:15-1:50pm wake time (free play time & sibling play time)

1:50-2:00pm wake time (read books with mommy)

2:00-5:00/5:30pm nap (Both my kids nap anywhere from 2-3.5 hrs.)

5:30-6:00pm wake time (The kids watch Barney while I make dinner and I sometimes give them a small healthy snack when they wake up.)

6:00-6:45pm dinner (They eat a healthy balanced meal/what we are eating.)

6:45-8:00pm wake time (play time with dad, family time, baths)

8:00pm bed time (brush teeth, PJ’s on, books, songs, and prayers)

Changing Diapers…..in Christian Faith

I read this blog post today on one of my favorite blogs. It encouraged me.  Daily (nightly) I do so many things for my kids like changing diapers, making and cleaning up food, etc. that sometimes I feel like I should be doing more to teach them about the gospel.  I feel like I get so busy with just keeping them alive and doing well.  This blog post helped me see that it is in the every day things that I can bring God glory and teach my kids about the gospel.

16 Month: Sample Schedule

You may notice that I did not post a sample schedule for 14 and 15 months.  There are not many changes except maybe dropping the bottle or the morning nap if you have not done so so far.  Some kids are ready for one nap a day as early as 12 months (both my kids were), while others aren’t until 18-22 months or so. Even if your child doesn’t go to one nap, she will at least shorten naps, which will send you back to troubleshooting and worrying about naps again. Again, your little baby is suddenly seeming quite grown up. Her comprehension is really showing through and her communication/talking as well.  You may have started to discipline too since little tantrums are common at this age.  We have started putting Jackson in “time out” for one minute for things such as hitting, biting, or throwing fits.  At first we had to stay close to him to make sure he stayed, but now (17 months old) he stays there great and it is a great way for him to calm down.

Eating
Here are some changes that take place in the eating arena during the age range of 12-18 months:

• Your child will go from mostly purees to mostly eating exactly what the family eats.
• Your child will go from bottle feeding/breastfeeding to drinking milk from a sippy cup.
• Your child will go from being carried to and from the table to coming and going herself.
• Your child will be using a booster seat instead of a high chair by 18 months old.
• At 12 months, she might have dinner on her own, unable to wait for dinner with the family. By 18 months, she will most likely be able to wait.
• Your child will start out being spoon fed by you, but by 18 months she should be able to feed herself with a spoon and a fork (not perfectly, but she can do it). Jackson is doing great with a spoon and a fork and he is now 17 months old.  It was messy at first, but you just have to give them the opportunity to practice.  The sooner and more often they use the fork and spoon on their own, the better they will be at a younger age, making it nice for you!

Napping

• The only change in napping during this period is a possible drop of the morning nap.
• Some children are ready to drop the nap as early as 12 months. Others will not drop it as pre-toddlers.
• Some children drop it cold turkey. Others drop it some days and still take it others for several months. Still others will slowly shorten the morning nap little by little before dropping it altogether.
• If your child drops her morning nap during this age range, it will have a large impact on your wake-time each day.

Other Stuff

• I continue to be consistent with encouraging Jack to sign: “all done”, “more”, “eat”, and “please” (Jack can sign: “all done”, “eat”, and “more”).  He can say all the words that he can sign now, so signing is less important to me.
• We continue to include Jack in prayer time before meals and modeling folding our hands when we pray.  He continues to fold his hands when we say the word pray and model it for him (still not for very long).
• You child should not be taking a bottle any more.  Both my kids had trouble drinking a lot of milk or what they needed each day for milk intake, so it took me longer to drop that last bottle of the day because they would drink so much.  Finally, I just stopped giving Jackson the bottle at all and he did great.  He had no problems falling asleep or staying asleep at night.  He drinks more now, but still not very much.  I give him cheese and yogurt to help give him the calcium that he needs each day.

*Note the times are approximate.

8:00-8:30am wake up, get dressed, and cuddle time with the family in bed.

8:30-9:00am breakfast (whole milk in sippy cup, fruit – usually a banana, and cereal in a bowl with milk and a spoon)

9:00-10:00am wake time (sibling play time, independent play time, & structured play time)

10:00-12:00pm nap (Jack does not take a morning nap anymore, so this is also his wake time. I usually give him a healthy snack around 10:00 as well.)

12:00-12:30pm wake time (The kids watch Barney as I am preparing for lunch.)

12:30-1:00pm lunch (I feed Jack and Ella the same thing or what we are eating.  I make sure to give the kids a healthy balanced meal. Jack gets whole milk in his sippy cup and yogurt.)

1:00-2:00pm wake time (free play time and read books)

2:00-5:00pm nap (Jack naps 2-4 hours, usually 3)

5:00-6:00pm wake time (free play time and I sometimes give him a small healthy snack when he wakes up)

6:00-6:30pm dinner (a healthy balanced meal and/or what we are eating with whole milk in sippy cup)

6:30-8:00pm wake time (play time with dad, family time, baths)

8:00pm bed time (brush teeth and PJ’s on)

Strength for a Weary Mom

Here is a good blog post from a blog I read regularly.  It is great for mothers of young children.  I hope it encourages you today.

But we must be faithful to sow today. Faithful to train. Faithful to teach. Faithful to discipline. Faithful to love. Or, as it says in this passage, faithful to “do good.” And we must trust God that He will fulfill His promises, that we will reap a harvest in due season if we do not give up.

Choking/CPR On Your 1 Year Old and Older Child

I had to give my son Jackson some abdominal thrusts yesterday because he was choking on a skin of an apple that he ate from his sister’s apple.  Thankfully it worked, but it was still very scary.  Please read the link below and prepare yourself just in case you are in a situation similar to mine.  You can never be too prepared.

link

Teething Help

Every child is different when it comes to getting teeth.  Usually tooth pain comes before the actual tooth can be seen.  Here are some suggestions for helping your child with teething pain.

Teething Without Medication

• Teething rings.  There are tons out there.  You can freeze or just put them in the fridge.
• If your baby is old enough that he/she is eating finger foods, Biter biscuits or foods like pretzels can be nice. The baby just chews and chews on them.
• A frozen wash cloth can be used as well. The cold helps sooth and numb the gum pain, and the material helps cut the gum. Get it wet, freeze it for a bit, and then give it to the baby to chew on. You could even just wet one end so the whole thing wouldn’t be freezing and then wet.
• Your fingers and/or knuckles (at least until those first teeth come in!).
• Soothie pacifiers.  You can buy them in stores. They are teal-greenish in color (thought they do come in various colors) and soft all around. Here is a link: Soothie Pacifier
• I have heard from my sister-in-law that a Raz-Berry Teether from Right Start (it looks like a pacifier). RaZberry Teether works well.
• A teething feeder. There are several brands out there: Teething Feeders
• Foam alphabet pieces. Sassy Bathtime Fun Appliques – 84 Piece Set
• All of the toys made for teething. The number of toys made with some teether feature included is quite large. Run a search on Amazon for teething toys, and this is what you will find: Teething Toys. There are various teething rings, toy keys, teethers you freeze, teethers that vibrate…the list goes on. You can pick something you think suits your baby’s personality and playing style.

Teething With Medication

• Many people love baby Orajel. I used this with both Ella and Jack.  It seems to work right away but not too much in the long term.
• Teething Tablets. I did not try these with Ella, but after Jack had serious pain and was waking up once a night for a week with his molars, I decided to try them.  The night I did, he slept all through the night again.  My sister uses them as well and says they work great for her kids.
• Good old Tylenol.
• Motrin (Ibuprophen). This lasts longer than Tylenol, so many like to use it at night and Tylenol in the day. Motrin is also supposed to reduce swelling.

Teething Thoughts

• Your baby’s reaction to teething is going to be very individual. Some babies handle pain better than others, just like adults. Some get clingy, some get cranky, some (older babies and toddlers) get disobedient, some get teeth without you realizing teething was even happening.
• The reaction will also vary based on the tooth coming in. Pain tolerance can differ around the mouth. For example, usually the first two teeth are the front bottom and are usually the least amount of pain coming through and the molars are a lot more painful for kids.
• In others experiences, the pains preceding the first tooth seem to be worse. It is baby’s first time experiencing the pain. Like I mentioned before, every child is different.
• A lot of times, teeth come in pairs–one quickly follows the first. The first is usually worse.
• Molars are usually quite painful. They take a really, really long time to fully come in, so they can bother your child for a month or more when you include the pre-tooth pain and the time to break through completely.
• There is no sure answer on how long the pains will last.
• For some babies teething really isn’t a good experience in the least. It is worth your effort to find what works for your baby. Those teeth will keep coming for quite some time. Somewhere around the second birthday, they all get there. Some might be done earlier, and some later, but the whole teething process lasts a long time.
• For many Babywise babies, teething doesn’t really disrupt life. Granted some are better able to handle pain than others. BW points out that once they are old enough, you can give pain killer if the child needs it just before a nap and that will kick in before the transition and they should be fine. Ella and Jack  got several teeth in without me realizing they were teething.
• Teething might throw naps off and nighttime sleep for a while. It might be the culprit for missed sleep. Most BW children I have observed mostly show their teething when they are older and cutting molars. They suddenly are set-off into fits more easily and are less obedient. An inspection of the mouth will show new teeth approaching. Your baby will assuredly have her own reaction to teeth. Deal with them as best you can, but don’t stress if they cause disruptions. Be patient with your baby or toddler as she is experiencing pain and discomfort.  Ella never woke in the night with teeth pain that I can remember, but Jackson will wake up with a piercing scream in the middle of the night randomly and then I notice the next day or two after that a tooth came through.  He is otherwise a good sleeper at night, so I know if there is nighttime crying, it is most likely his teeth.  At night or naps I use pain meds and Orajel if I cannot get him to settle back down and fall back to sleep after a quick hold and diaper change etc.

**If you are unsure if your baby is teething or not, look for signs of drooling, red and swollen gums, and possibly a low fever.**

For the Young Mother: Ministry, Guilt, and Seasons of Life

As mothers, we shape the souls of our children and ultimately influence the world.

Are you discouraged as you spend day after day immersed in the mundane tasks of mothering? Then think of the honor of guiding the spiritual and intellectual and social development of young minds and hearts. Think of the thrill of teaching them eternal truths from God’s Word. Think of the importance of teaching your young children how to live under authority, and of preparing them for future relationships by teaching them about love and trust. Think of the delight of sending one more godly, vibrant, strong, secure, loving young person into this needy world with the courage to live well for Christ’s sake. What a worthy investment!

Read the whole post here.

13 Month: Sample Schedule

13 Month Sample Schedule: Approximately 55-58 Weeks

Starting at 12 months, you will notice things start to change. Your child starts to suddenly eat significantly less food–so much less you worry she will shrivel away. She will also most like start to change her needs in napping. Some are ready for one nap a day as early as 12 months, while others aren’t until 18-22 months or so. Even if she doesn’t go to one nap, she will at least shorten naps, which will send you back to troubleshooting and worrying about naps again. And discipline? Bring on the tantrums! And that little baby is suddenly seeming quite grown up. Her comprehension is really showing through and her communication/talking as well.

Eating
Here are some changes that take place in the eating arena during the age range of 12-18 months:

• Your child will go from mostly purees to mostly eating exactly what the family eats (at 13 months, I still give Jackson purees in vegetables to give him a variety & because he doesn’t really eat them any other way at this point).
• Your child will go from bottle feeding/breastfeeding to drinking milk from a sippy cup.
• Your child will go from being carried to and from the table to coming and going himself.
• Your child will be using a booster seat instead of a high chair by 18 months old.
• At 12 months, he might have dinner on his own, unable to wait for dinner with the family. By 18 months, he will most likely be able to wait.
• Your child will start out being spoon fed by you, but by 18 months he should be able to feed himself with a spoon and a fork (not perfectly, but he can do it).

Napping

• The only change in napping during this period is a possible drop of the morning nap.
• Some children are ready to drop the nap as early as 12 months. Others will not drop it as pre-toddlers.
• Some children drop it cold turkey. Others drop it some days and still take it others for several months. Still others will slowly shorten the morning nap little by little before dropping it altogether.
• If your child drops his morning nap during this age range, it will have a large impact on your wake-time each day.

Other Stuff

• I continue to be consistent with teaching/showing Jack to sign: “all done”, “more”, “eat”, and “please” (Jack can sign: “all done” and “more”).
• We continue to include Jack in prayer time before meals and modeling folding our hands when we pray.  He will now fold his hands when we say the word pray and model it for him (but not for very long).
• I continue to sign “no” to Jack in a firm voice if he blows raspberries, spits out his food, throws his food on the floor, puts his messy hands in his hair, and/or screams while eating.
• I would recommend putting whole milk in your baby’s sippy cup twice a day this month (during the two day feedings) if you are giving him/her a bottle.  If you are nursing, you could wean one-two nursings and give your baby a sippy cup for the one-two daily liquid feedings.  Some of my friends have quit nursing and/or the bottle cold turkey at 12 months.  They went straight to just a sippy cup for all the liquid feedings (either 4 a day or 3 a day with the family meal schedule).  They have found it to work out well.  Both my kids have not taken to the sippy cup too well, so I started with the daily feedings (mainly because they wouldn’t take much from a bottle anyway) and then gradually took out the bottle at morning and night.  You can try what you think is best for your kids and let me and our readers know what worked well for you.

*note the times are approximate.  It probably won’t take you 30 minutes to nurse and then another to eat, the important thing is the order.

8:00-8:30am wake up and have a 7 oz bottle or sippy cup with whole milk

8:30-9:00am breakfast (oatmeal and fruit chopped like banana or pears, etc.  At the end of this month, Jack stopped wanting oatmeal so I give him a fruit granola bar or bread.)

9:00-10:00am wake time (sibling play time, independent play time, & structured play time)

10:00-12:00pm nap (Jack does not take a morning nap anymore, so this is also his wake time. I usually give him a healthy snack around 10:00 as well.)

12:00-12:30pm wake time (The kids watch Barney as I am preparing for lunch.)

12:30-1:00pm lunch (I feed Jack and Ella the same thing or what we are eating.  I make sure to give the kids a healthy balanced meal. Jack gets whole milk in his sippy cup and yogurt.)

1:00-2:00pm wake time (free play time and read books)

2:00-4:00pm nap (sometimes he naps 3-4 hours)

4:00-5:30pm wake time (free play time and I usually give him a small healthy snack when he wakes up)

5:30-6:00pm dinner (a healthy balanced meal and/or what we are eating with whole milk in sippy cup)

6:00-8:00pm wake time (time with dad, family time, baths)

8:00pm 7 oz bottle of whole milk and put to bed