Newborn Wake Time

It has now been three weeks since the birth of my third child.  It has been quite the adjustment with three kids, all ages 3 and under.  The thing that worries me the most and what brings me the most stress with a newborn, is trying to get him into a routine/schedule (feed, wake, sleep).  For most newborns, one of the hardest things to achieve is to establish “wake time” after each feeding during the day.  On Becoming Babywise states, “Wakefulness is a goal to strive toward” (page 107).  I had to remind myself of this.  I was trying so hard to keep him awake to take a full feeding and then wake time after, that if I wasn’t successful, I felt like I failed him and he wouldn’t be able to sleep through the night or be healthy.  Goals take time.  Therefore, I shouldn’t expect to achieve this goal immediately.  It takes work, consistency, and time.  I need to not worry, but be flexible and do my best.  My son will live.  My son will eventually sleep through the night.

I suggest instead of focusing on getting your baby to have wake time after every feeding at first, to start with at least one good wake time a day, and then add a wake time every week.  I started with the first wake time of the day (since he was sleeping so long at night, I thought this would be the easiest one to keep him awake – and it was).  I also tried to start with at least 15-30 minutes and then tried to increase it to an hour or hour and 15 minutes of wake time before I put him down for a nap.  Giving your baby a bath is always a great way to make sure they have wake time.  I also change his diaper after I nurse.

On Becoming Babywise tells you to not worry about the first week (Weeks 2-8 is the routine schedule: Phase 1 Stabilization).  They tell you to start the routine at week two since it takes one week for life to settle in for both you and your baby.  So far, I have to actively be involved in his wake time in order for him to stay awake.  If I lay him down on an activity mat, the Boppy, or in his car seat, he will fall asleep.  So yes, it is a lot of work to keep him awake.  Eventually though, when your child is around 4-5 weeks old, you should be able to lay him in his activity mat and he will stay awake.  Your baby will be more alert and staying awake will be less effort.

At first, you won’t be having much time spent doing anything other than nursing and changing diapers since newborns can only stay awake for approximately 15-45 minutes if they do stay awake at all. Some babies are a little harder. The reason I was a little stressed with my third child, is because even a cold wash rag wouldn’t wake him to finish nursing the second side, let a lone having wake time after eating.  Once again, I was reminded in the book, that it is ok. You can slowly add wake time like I did with him.  It will all come.  It might take 6 or more weeks to get playtime really happening even a little.  So just relax, do what you can, and don’t stress.  Each week will get better and better as your newborn will get older and older.

My son’s schedule at 3 weeks:

*This is my goal for each day. Of course there are days he doesn’t stay awake the whole wake time.  Of course there are days where he cries himself to sleep and ends up not getting a full nap, but maybe only 30 minutes.  Does he always sleep 5 hrs. before I wake him up at night? No, sometimes he wakes up on his own at 4 1/2 hrs.  Most people will start their day with wake time after the 6:30am nursing.  I however don’t because he sleeps so well at night and sleeps until I wake him at 9:30am.  My other kids also sleep until 8-8:30am.  So I go back to bed. With my second child, he would have his fussy time (my third child does as well at times) after the 9:00 feeding.  Therefore, I would cluster feed with only two hours apart and then he would go right to sleep for the night.  So I would nurse at 9:00 and again at 11:00pm and then put right to bed.  I nurse 7 times a day since he sleeps so well at night.  Before the longer stretches at night (weeks 1-2), I would nurse 8 times a day.  Flexibility is key, especially with newborns!

9:30-10am – Nurse

10-11 – Wake time

11-12:30 – Nap

12:30-1 – Nurse

1-2 – Wake time

2-3:30 – Nap

3:30-4 – Nurse

4-5 – Wake time

5-6:30 – Nap

6:30-7 – Nurse

7-8 – Wake time

8-9:00 – Nap

9:00-9:30 – Nurse & put right to sleep

9:30pm-2:00am – Sleep

2-2:30 – Nurse & put right to sleep

2:30-6:30 – Sleep

6:30-7 – Nurse & put right to sleep

7-9:30am – Sleep

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